Like most girls, I have struggled with my self-image my entire life. When I was younger I hated the way I looked because everyone else was prettier, skinnier, had nicer…everything. Sure some people told me I was pretty, but I felt like people were obliged to say that because I certainly didn’t see it. From time to time I’d think, “Today. Today I don’t look terrible.” From time to time I would genuinely feel pretty.

I had gotten better about it as I’d gotten older because I have learned to love myself a bit more. Then I got sick. Cancer took its toll in so many ways. I didn’t feel pretty anymore because it took my hair and gave me scars that drew attention to the fact I was broken. I was called “sir” because I had short hair. Then, I can’t really tell you what happened. One day I stopped caring. I started to love my short hair and I felt beautiful because I had been through something that had made me stronger and I loved that I could look in the mirror and smile again. The treatments ended and my hair did eventually grow back. 

I won’t tell you that I have completely resolved my self-image issues. I’m not sure there is anybody who really has, but some days we can say, “Today. Today I look lovely.” Sure it’s shallow, but it does feel nice to feel pretty from time to time. I don’t post pictures of myself often. I think that people will be…disappointed somehow. It’s silly of me I realize, but buried within this so called grown woman remains the girl who wanted to have blue eyes and straight hair and for a boy to look at her and say, “Wow. You’re beautiful, did you know that?” I do, by the way, know I’m beautiful. It has taken me a long time and I have to remind myself from time to time. So I suppose that’s why I am making this. This is me being brave and pushing the wolves who whisper doubts at bay. These are the pictures where I felt beautiful and that when I looked at them I saw what other people seemed to. So this is me, being brave enough to show you what I’m often to scared to see for myself.